Thankful

As the holidays approach and people reflect on what they are thankful for, I take a moment to sit back and reflect on what I am truely happy and thankful for. I am thankful that back in 2003 I was able to enlist in the miitary and then in 2005 being blessed with a beautiful baby boy. He was totally unexpected but non the less he was a blessing. I am thankful for the loss of my job and the oppertunity to be blessed with another resulting in me meeting the most wonderful man I could have ever met. He has blessed me with a wonderful son in 2007 and beautiful wedding in 2007 and after all we have been through he blessed me again with another son in 2008. I am so blessed to have the ability to claim Brayden as my son and in a way I am ok with saying I am blessed with his passing away. He was taken to be an angel with God because of his birth defects and I was blessed with the abilty to give birth to his beautiful sister the very next year. These past 4 years have been amazing and I can't stress how blessed I was to get out of my previous lifestyle and become a wife and mother and I can't stress how much I love my family. I miss my son and those who have gone before us more than anything right now and the selfish part of me just wants them back even for just a few minutes, hours, days or even a week. I long so much to hold my wonderful son in my arms and let him know how much I love him and that he was always wanted and is truely missed by me and his Daddy.

This year I am also thankful for being able to say that God is in my life for the better and that with him everything will work out no matter how I feel that day or at the particular moment, everything is done for a reason and a purpose and he will see me through it. He has blessed me with more than Icould have asked for, more than I would have wanted but in all honesty it was a very good thing considering my past and the lifestyle I had previous to having children and meeting my amazing husband of almost 4 years. I thank God for blessing me with all he has and what's to come.

i have been able to detox my life and my body over the last few months and I was able to destress and eliminate more than one thing that I no longer need in my life. Things that have brought me down, things I have kept bottled inside and things that are worthless and just needed to be gotten rid off. I have developed relationships with people I normally wouldn't have and I have ended ones with people I thought I couldn't live without. It was hard thinking about it and even in the beginning after it was done, but now reflecting back it was much needed and really should have been done a lot sooner. I was putting myself through emotional strains that were unnecessary and now I realize it was a bunch of bull crap and it was all for no reason at all. What I though really wasnt what it was nor waht it should have been. No more fake smiles for me just straight forward thoughts and the ability to speak whats on my mind regardless of who it may effect or whatever. If you don't want the truth then don't ask me anything.

I am happy in the fact I have a blessed famly who is healthy, who is wealthy in that we have a home that is ours, we have money and we have oppertunitys to advance in what we set out to achive. My husband has been blessed with an amazing oppertunity at work with his company that advancement is available and seems to be easily achieved. I'm blessed in a sense that my children love school ,they love to learn new things and they have. Our oldest Noah was awarded with Perfect Attendance last week and when he came home to show us the award he had the biggest smile on his face and couldn't wait for his Daddy to walk thru the door to tell him about it as well. Zach has learned new songs at school and every night he sits next to me on the couch and asks me to sing them to him. I took him grocery shopping the other night nad he used his manners properly, I was so proud of him. He is doing alot better when I drop him off at school, he no longer cries for me but rather goes right in and picks up with the activities that the other children are doing. He even flirted with an older lady at the checkout and came home and told his Daddy " I flirted with an old lady", he makes my heart smile. Brooklynn is amazing in her own way. She really enjoys bath time and washing her belly and hair :0- She walks up to ya and starts rambling about things you have no clue about bc you can't understand baby talk but she jabbers for hours and really enjoys being with the boys even if they are a little rough with her at times. SHe's in the stage now of putting things in the toilet ( Zach found a Noah's dress shoe in their last pm), amongst other things. She's got her own personality and its amazing to see her grow everyday as it is to see the boys do the same. My children have brought a light into my life that I hadn't noticed was put out, amazing what happens when you take the time out of your hectic shedual to really watch and observe what is going on under your nose. They interact so much with each other and ask about each other when they are apart, that's true love right there.

Regardelss of how hectic my house or life may be, I cherish the little moments wiht each and everyone of my children and my husband. We have had our difficult and trying times which I'm sure all married people have had at some point but we have made it through the hard times and are planning on spending so many more years together watching each other get older and plan our retirement homes and what our children will do and be when they get older. Noah wants to be a Fireman and in the Army and Zachary wants to operate a trackhoe with a bucket and be just like his Daddy. I hope all their dreams come true and that when hard times hit, they reflect back on how blessed they are that they were able to have a good home, great values and the grace of God with them at all times. I pray my children continue to rely on those they need and get rid of those they dont, that they enjoy everything they do and show as much effort for it as possible. I hope they remain faithful to God as they have been taught and always look to him for guidance when needed. That tey look out for each other nad try not to live outside of their means to remain happy and enjoy all that comes their way. I am blessed to have them and my husband and those friends that I care most about, and my foes as well. May God bless and continue to remain in our lives forever!!